“When you win nothing hurts”, Frank you always said this.
But, you can’t win all the time can you? I will keep it simple and short, as I
know that there would be only a handful people who will read this.
Ever since I was ushered in this world, I was told about how
I should behave towards society and people. The sheer embarrassment and
delusion that people surround themselves in order to appease others makes me
choke on my own vomit. The fake smile, the show of money, the status, fancy
cars, watches, gadgets and things, these things that surround people all the
time. I renounce this dogma. I am sick of it. Do this at this time, do that at
another time. Religion, government and all the people have told me to do things
as they wanted. I have had enough of this and now I need to take control of the
things that I want to do.
Frank, I will be honest with you. You have given me all the
luxuries that any woman could ever dream of, but in the event of giving me
things to live, you forgot to give me a life. A life, where you and I could be
together when we want, talk to each other face to face, holding hands and not
through skype. I want to see you in the morning when I wake up in the morning
not the walls of this huge and lonely house. Although, I am legally married to
you, but work has been your life. I have failed in everything that I have done.
I have neglected my life so much that I can barely think of any positives about
it. I can’t fake it anymore now. Death comes only once, but I have died day in
and day out. Every hour that I have spent in this house alone, makes me die,
and every time I try is when every time I die.
When I think about the aims and desires that I had as a
child, I can’t help myself but sulk. Deep down there is a great amount of
regret that is burning my heart each moment of every hour that I live here. When
and where will I meet my fate? Confined in these giant walls where there is nothing
that my mind can perceive of life. The more I look outside, the more I feel my
life starting to disappear. But, it all ends today.
Take care of Maggi. She will not miss me, as she loves the
things that you have given her more than me. There is nothing more to write,
nothing more to give. Just my life to take and leave this world.
Goodbye.
